Lonely Holidays
by The Astronomer Brony
Summary: Christmas break at Watford was always hard, but this year especially. Baz is gone, forced back home for a few weeks with his family. Simon is suddenly regretting choosing to not go with him. Rated K for mild language and probably in-depth kissing.
1. Chapter 1

Simon smiled, his first real, genuine smile all day. Baz smiled back, gently running his thumb in the curve of Simon's cheek before trailing his hand up and gently combing through his hair.

"I miss you," Simon said as his eyes closed, humming slightly. He felt Baz lean down and lightly pepper kisses across his face, one on each mole.

"I know, Love, and I miss you too. Just a few more days and I'll be back. Then, this can be real" Baz murmured against his face. Simon sighed, remembering. None of this was real. He was just dreaming. He always heard about how people who 'wake' during their dreams will try to change it to whatever they wanted, but this was all Simon wanted. He didn't want to change a thing about it. He reached up a hand and slowly curved it around Baz's neck, pulling lightly until their lips met. After a few slow, long kisses, Simon opened his mouth and felt Baz's tounge prod his own. He smiled, but that horrible ache settled in his stomach. It had been there since Baz had left. So, a few weeks now. He was tired of it. He couldn't even dream happily with it there. Baz pulled back.

"I'm sorry," he said instantly. Simon frowned, but didn't respond. He din't have to. This Baz wasn't real. He'd just be reassuring himself. So, he sighed, and slowly felt the edges of his dream going black.

XXXXX

Simon's eyes cracked open, feeling heavy and strained. He had a headache and all he wanted to do was curl up tighter and sleep more, but he forced himself up. He shakily sat in a sitting position before swinging his legs off of the bed and standing. His eyes fell on Baz's empty half of the room and his stomach sunk. It had only been a few weeks, but to Simon they felt like years. To make it worse, he'd been having those dreams. They didn't do anything to dull the ache, the want. They just made it worse. Slowly, he stretched and groaned before making his way to the bathroom for a shower. Half an hour later, he walked sluggishly down the stairs and through the abandoned halls of Watford. He stopped by a window and stared at the gathering snow clinging to everything outside. Their winter break had started a few weeks ago, and Baz was forced by his family to go back home. He couldn't have exactly shown up with the Mage's Heir in tow. Not that he hadn't tried. Simon smiled as he remembered their bickering.

 _"Why not, Snow?" Baz whined, finally at his wits end. They had been going at it for half an hour now while Baz was packing. "They won't try anything while I'm there" he said. Simon groaned and rolled over, pressing his face into his pillow and letting out a stressed breath before lifting it and trying to glare at Baz's back. The best he could manage was a small pout._

 _"That's what worries me! The 'when I'm there' part! What about when you're not there!?" he questioned. Baz sighed, shoulders sagging. He placed a final, perfectly folded shirt in his suit case before crossing to Simon. Carefully, he slid into the bed next to him, forcing him to scoot over against the wall. Simon, the git, refused to look at Baz, and instead rolled so he was facing the wall. Baz smiled slightly and looped his arm around his love, pulling him close. Simon squeaked slightly in surprise, but quickly turned to a hum of delight as he felt Baz start placing small kisses around the back of his neck._

 _"If anyone in that house even tries to hurt you, we will leave. Both of us. And we'll come back, and spend christmas here, together, like we're meant to"_

 _Simon rolled over and nestled his head below Baz's, breath lightly flittering against his pale collarbone._

 _"I know, and that sounds amazing, but I can't come with you. I don't know, I just don't feel... safe there..."_

 _Baz squeezed him tighter, curling around Simon and gritting his teeth. He knew he wouldn't be able to persuade him. He pulled back and angled his head down so he could speak gently into the top of Simons head._

 _"Okay. Well, I leave in the morning. Let's make the best of the time we have"_

 _A moment after those words left his mouth, Simons face was angled upwards so their mouthes could meet. His hands reached up into Baz's sleek hair._

 _"Trust me, we will" he murmured against Baz's mouth._

Simon licked his lips, as though trying to get one last taste of him. He continued staring out the window until he was jolted out of his haze by a firm hand cupping his shoulder. He jumped slightly and looged up, instantly recognizing the apperal and stance of the Mage. For whatever reason, he couldn't bring himself to stand and stutter out a greeting like he usually would. Instead, he just went back to staring out the window, a small "Sir," the only sign he recognized the Mage.

"Simon, are you alright?" questioned the Mage. Simon nodded, forehead rubbing against the cool glass.

"I'm fine, sir. Just a bit tired." he yawned to prove his point, though the Mage still looked doubtful.

He sighed and removed his hand from Simons shoulder, crossing his arms behind his back and staring out the window. "Simon, if there's anything you ever need to talk about, please know that my door is always open. I was a growing boy once too, and I know it might be hard to have an intense relationship here due to the ban on the girls dorms, but those are there for a reason, an-"

At this point Simon had jumped up, violently waving his arms and shaking his head.

"Sir, it's nothing like that! I swear, it's nothing like that!" he insisted, face alight with red. Of all of the people to try and have the Talk with him, it had to be the Mage...

"Well, then what is it? You've been moping around the school since break began... Oh, is that it? Is it because your friend, um... Pamela. Are you sad because she left?"

Simon muttered a small 'Penelope' under his breath, glaring at his floor. He shook his head, slower this time.

"Something like that, sir"

 **A/N: Wow I finally got something done! Sorry for the hella slow updates. School is hard, and there's this guy, and just... Shit. Someone halp. So I wrote from Simon's point of view, which was new. Also, fluff! I love these two too much. And the Mage is trying to be a dad, even though he's an asshole and I hate him. Also, to Snowbazzzz, I'm sorry I took down Beauty! I really loved your idea, but I executed it awfully *-* It just felt to rushed and bad and horrible. Sorry! Chapter 2 is in production! Let me know what you all think! Oh yeah! If you guys want a more casual way to talk and get to know what I'm doing, follow me on Instagram at The_Astronomer_Brony! Thanks! I love you all!**


	2. Chapter 2

Simon somehow wound up outside. He tightened his coat against the chill, teeth beginning to clatter. After a few minutes of aimless wandering, he somehow wound up at the edge of the woods. He stared up at the tree line for a minute through his dark, half lidded eyes before turning back to the school. He stomped the snow off of his boots before glancing up at one of the clocks. He frowned. It wasn't nearly as late as he had thought. Definitely not late enough to justify sleeping. So, he begrudgingly turned around once again, out into the snow.

A few minutes of wandering deposited him on Ebb's doorstep. Simon sighed and pulled his hand out of his pocket and into the chill to knock. After a moment, she answered.

"Simon!" she exclaimed, looking him up and down. "Come in, come in. It's freezing out there! What were you thinking?" she asked, ushering him inside the warm hut and shutting the door behind him. Simon let out a breath and shrugged out of his coat before stepping in front of the fire.

"Would you like some tea, dear?" she asked. Simon nodded, still trying to get some circulation into his hands. She handed him a mug which he took gratefully.

"So what brings you out here?" she questioned. Simon took a sip of tea and sighed, feeling it warming him. He glanced up and shrugged.

"I'm not sure. I don't have much to do. Besides, Baz is-" he caught himself, eyes panicked as he risked a glance up to see Ebb staring at him quizzically. He coughed before continuing. "I really don't have anything to do. I already did all of my homework and Penny is gone" he smoothed over. He winced at Ebbs gaze, knowing he didn't convince her in the least. She took a small sip of tea.

"And you and... Penny... are very close?" she asked. Simon blushed slightly, staring at his shoes.

"Y-yes, I guess we are." he smiled softly, thinking of all of the moments he and Baz had spent together. Ebb smiled knowingly. He was so obvious.

"And you really like him?"

"Yes, so much..so much that it feels like I'm drowning in him, but in a good way! It's like... like curling up to go to sleep, and you're warm and cozy and safe, but I carry this feeling around with me all the time!" He finished, taking a breath before realizing what he had said. He looked at Ebb, who grinned back and winked. She leaned back in her chair.

"It's alright to like blokes, Simon. Don't worry, I won't tell"

Simon let out a slow breath and sagged back into his seat slightly. He breathed out a small 'thank you' to Ebb, which just made her smile more.

"So how long have you two been together for?" she questioned after a few silent moments. Simon blushed slightly before answering.

"A few months, I guess. But I think... I think I've liked him for a really long time"

"And now?"

"Love. I love him."

Ebb grinned at Simon over the rim of her mug. It was good that he was so readily admitting it.

"And what exactly do you love about him?"

Simon's eyes lit up, a smile slowly growing on his features as he spoke. "Everything! He's so kind, and smart, and generous, and loving, and so very handsome. And when he's in a bad mood, or when I'm not giving him enough attention, he'll pout for a few minutes and then come and curl up next to me, or more often, on top of me. He's kind of like a cat. And sometimes, I swear, he has the stars in his eyes. When he's excited or passionate about something, they light up in the most gorgeous ways and it makes me fall in love with him all over again..."

Somewhere in there, tears had started to fall. Ebb stood up and shuffled over to Simon, draping her arm around him.

"Simon, dear, what's wrong?" she questioned, giving him a light squeeze.

Simon took a deep breath to try and steady himself. "I miss him so much" he finally breathed out. The ache of being apart was there, as prominent as ever. It stung and burned, twisting like a knife in his heart. Ebb gently pulled away, but left one hand on Simon's shoulder.

"Simon, I know it hurts now, but imagine how it'll feel when you two are finally together again. Break is over in just about six days, and he usually shows up early, doesn't he?"

Simon nodded, sniffling.

"Alright. So he'll be here in just a few days. Just a couple more days. You can make it Simon, I know you can"

Simon woke up the next morning feeling better than he had in days. He hadn't had that dream, just a calm, warm blackness. He opened the window and took a deep breath before instantly closing it again as he felt the icy wind bite at his skin. Baz was coming back tomorrow. 10:45 am tomorrow morning, to be exact. Simon grinned before showering and throwing on some clothes in a rush. After that, he headed downstairs to grab breakfast, and then to the library. When he got in there, he awkwardly looked around. Noting the one old librarian behind the desk, he made his way to the computers and began searching. Finally, he found it. It was perfect. He punched in his card number (The Mage had been against him getting one, but he had insisted) and hit buy. It would be arriving early the next day, thank magic. Then he got down to the hard part. He opened a document file to write in and began typing. More than two hours later he hit print, grabbed the papers from the printer, and ran back to his room.

 **A/N: AAAAAAGH I'm so so so sorry for the long break! I've been so busy and then whenever I sit down to write I can't think of anything! I'm on winter break now though, so I'll try to post more before school starts again! Honestly, I've missed writing these two. I just love them so much ;-;**


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